I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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