My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
