We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
