Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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