how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
