We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
