I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
