Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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