Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
