This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
