North Korea, Best Korea!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
