i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize