hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
