I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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