i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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