My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
