we're blogging at a bar
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
