Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
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She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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