Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
