mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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