I wish I could punch you in the face.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
