Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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