i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.