Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
