If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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