): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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