Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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