I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.