At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?