conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?