If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.