is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?