just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.