My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?