I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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