so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
