Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
