i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
