I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I lost the right to judge tonight
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
