I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
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I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize