his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize