Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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