I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
