my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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