when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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