I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
