I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
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I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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