hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
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You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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