I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
