The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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