Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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