Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
