this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
