Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
