Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
