i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just pee around me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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