Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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