The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
