I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
