Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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