I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
