I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
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Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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