I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
