Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
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