id be glad to
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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