Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im holly from the hills drunk
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
