Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize