in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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