Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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