Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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