Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
