She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
