Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
