I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
