i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
