I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
